I promised I'd never talk about you anymore nor write about my feelings
for you, even though it's tempting everytime I take myself back at that
time, back at that old time I once knew.
I promised not to say
your name out loud so I wouldn't remember your hazel eyes staring deeply
at me, your straight smile that used to pave the way for my mind to
explore your many faces, your firm but soft touch on my skin when you
held me, then I knew somehow you were missing me.
I promised to
stay away from you, to stay out of your business, to keep you out of my
life and move on from this confusing past we lived but... I failed.
Everything
happened so fast like the time for drug effects to show up. You
were my drug. The one I wanted so bad and coudn't have because
it wasn't listed in my prescription. You were the drug I thought I
needed to reach the top, to live an adventure, to feel alive for a
while, to be different from what I used to be - just a regular kid
around the popular ones.
You were popular. I could see all those
interested looks at you and your skills, your dramas, your calls to all
the attention you could have. You were special, fearless, radical,
impulsive, a motherfucking bastard who stuck me into an illusion and
poisoned me with a sweet kiss.
But I promised not to close my
eyes to picture that moment again. I promised not to say a word and try
to be as polite as I can. I promised to keep these emotions to myself 'cause I am a better person than I was before and I won't lose what I
have right now for some teenage kind of a dream.
I promised not
to sing those 80s songs you vibed so hard but it's hard for me let them
go, you have a really fine music taste after all... and that's probably
one of the reasons why I was into you in the first place.
Don't
blame me, you have you charm continuously surrounding me so far, just
because I never forgot about you, just because I wanted a bit more of it
all.
Yes, I promised not to fall in love with you. For all
circumstances, for the principles of my own life, for your reputation,
for that stupid rule book, I couldn't love you, not even a little, not
even if I already did.
