29.09.2021

Can you see the dry weak leaves
Falling in the sidewalk painted yellow
The loud city is now calm, it breathes
Just like the man living in endless sorrow

He's singing about devotion
Declaring his love and frustration
Crying all kinds of emotions
Waiting for death in desperation

Can you feel the autumn breeze in your face
Blowing away old and crazy remembrances
Cleaning up your view to win this timeless race
To the one thing you wish you could embrace

The man now is long gone
Like a lifeless magnolia tree
And you're now set and done
Ready to find out who you're gonna be
By the time winter has come
They will see
All you've ever wanted
Was to be once free.

28.08.2021

 

 

 

The sun is rising and your morning face is glowing
This black and white view hides all the nights I spent wondering

Through the window I can see them out there
People rushing on the busy loud street
Trying to make their lives a little less obsolete
If somehow they had a pair of wings to fly
If somehow they were late for the last minute of their lives

Through my blurry eyes I can see
The way you look in the mirror
Pretending to see anything else but yourself
Avoiding to agree with the truth
The greatest lie you built to feed in your shell

Take whatever you want, the words you need
Open your heart and scare your demons away
Scream until the clock stops moving
Forget those days they left you suffering
Sing all that love songs until you're free

Open your mouth and smile, let me see you shine
Let me live this moment just for one more time

23.06.2021

 

Do you really wanna know what future held for me?

People were born every day, every minute, externalizing the impulsiveness and the lack of self care of all those people who wanted a family - or were forced to give this moment away
People learnt so many things, from useful to useless, from Maths to Scandinavian poetry, from Blues to Synth Pop, from love to hate, yes, to love and also, specially, to hate, and not just hate to themselves, but to hurt people very deeply.
People grew up - so as their mental health issues, body diseases, greed, proud, that fucking superiority complex, religiosity and intolerance and all of the extreme political bullshit you talked so much about and until today people seem to be too worried about choosing one side over chossing the fairest one.
People related to each other, created strong ties, made love, broke up, got back together, broke up again, made friends and made love again and repeated this cycle to their last days - or to the day they finally realized it was the most boring cycle ever because they've lost much time and forgot the real meaning to their lives.

They've been fighting, but this you know damn well, you've been there for all your living days. Skyscrapers fell down, soldiers were shot, cops killed innocent people, white men wanted to be the only men in the world, this world dying little by little while they burn, deforest and pollute and throw their toxic trash into the deep water and destroy their own source of life and food. People are going insane but, there were harder times even before you were born, am I right? This is only about the consequences and the lessons we should have learned about all those years that have been long gone.

People died, my love. Including you. Here I am sitting under a roof, drinking clean water and taking my hot shower when it's cold, baking whatever I want to, posting this crappy letter online while I dig into your life back when we used to hang out in black and white clothes, running in the smoky street, screaming to car horns and lunch time bells. And people are still dying, by every cause, every reason, every circumstance, every mistake and lack of options and abundance of accidents as possible.

Just like you. The water was jealous of your calmness and patience and decided to fight you but couldn't understand why you weren't fighting back, and then it was too late to come back. It just took the only thing that the future couldn't hold for me, the one I will never look deep into the eyes again, the one I will never touch hands again, the one that will never learn anything again, that will never grow older, that will never get the chance to see what the future held for himself. 

09.06.2021

 

 

In the waving blue shape of the sea you show up to me
Sun's setting down, tide's going out, you're fading away from here
Dark horizon comes with breeze, whispering in my ear
"Come with me, forget all your fears"

Under your magic spell I fall, head underwater I call -
I call your name but you're not there, this isn't fair
Who else would save me from this nightmare?
Who else would save me from this crazy version of myself?

An old mermaid lullaby, long talks by the moonlight
Fooled by the silent smooth motion of the night
Lost the count of the hours passing by
Lost the love, lost my life, there's no turning back in time

White silk veil embrace my soul to one more chance
I close my eyes and feel your heart to this last dance
The vast ocean draws the path, we hold our hands
We'll immerse our ways together until everything ends.

07.06.2021

 

Maybe it's better you were gone away
Maybe all the damage would've been too hard for you to deal with
Maybe you really needed time to rest, to be in peace
With yourself, with your demons, with your overloaded mind

Maybe they would've been too hard on you in the next steps
Maybe people would've not understand where you wanted to go
Maybe it would've been confusing if you wanted to settle down
Have a family, stay safe, stay sane, stay alive

Maybe you'd done worse if it was for you
Maybe you'd just had to forgive yourself
Maybe you were desperate for a solution, to end any suffering
To finally enjoy the view from up above

You did anything you could to stay around, you were a strong piece of flesh, you were just trying to fit in a world full of fools
When kindness, sweetness, patience and long stares wouldn't say anything, you would've turn the table right away and get them to listen to you

When all the odds were against you, the brightest light of your soul would come out and shout, out loud, "who's the fucking boy now?"
You've lost so many good things that were about to come, but you've also earned precious time to raise your wings and fly

You didn't belong to this world of war, pain, injustice, prejudice
You deserved way better than this
Because maybe, and just maybe, we weren't ready for you
Maybe we would've never been ready for you.

03.06.2021

Your voice is such a mystery to me
So many layers working like one perfect piece
So much anger in it
So much passion about it
You know how to be politely inclined to seduce and intrigue

You've got no limits
Screaming words in despair
Reciting love poems to a stranger you knew damn well
Dealing with the pain of being alone in a world of pretty faces
Selfish heartless kind of pretty faces

You're a dreamer, used to daydream all the time
You're a suprise box, a suprisingly good one, full of curiosity and desire
Curious to find out what else life has to offer, where else you have to be, who else destiny is putting in your way
Desiring every adventurous journey, every cup of black coffee, every bright sunset on the highway horizon

Go on, sing your heart out, go on
Sing every word that's been stuck in your throat for so long
Sing every thought out and make them see you
Make them admire you
Just the way you are

Your voice is a force of nature
So many little details making tears fall down from their old pretty faces
That's all yours, you conquered the world, go explore it before it ends
Raise your voice, fight their resistance, be a dreamer
Just the way you are

31-05-2021

How can I find you where you've been hiding
How can I bring you back to life
How can I show you the things I'm doing
The words I'm writing, the stuff I'm thinking
You're far away in a heavenly room
Playing the piano like a gig was coming soon
But there a lot of young ones begging for more, dude

You don't know when to stop
It's natural, it's a gift, it's a blessing
It's inherited from the sweet hands of God
Everybody wants a piece of this little thing
Everybody wants to be close to you
Everybody wants to get to know you
Take this chance, you may not have another in the way
Put your star to shine when the sun fades, taking the light of day

Don't fade, don't run away
Don't go insane, don't quit the game
Just for today, get that microphone and say
Scream out loud that you will stay

It's getting late, we could be dancing by the moonlight
Talking about our shitty lives
Laughing about passionate lovers' fights
Let me spend the night
Hold you endlessly tight
While I stare at you in delight
While we watch wrong paths becoming right

Don't run away
Please say
That you will stay
Just for today

How can I compete
With your heart feeling deeply
When your mind screaming silently
Where your eyes shutting down accidentally

How can I make up
To end this break up
To see you grow up
To finally wake you up
To never let you give up
Never again to fail you up.

That's enough for me.

I'm tired of trying to understand why you simply hate, why you just decide to ignore and pretend nothing ever happened, I'm definitely tired of you, at all.
While you're slowly dancing sitting in your uncomfortable messy bed, laughing hard of all the inside jokes you create inside your own head, staring at the phone screen, making everyone turn against me because of the truth you think is real, here I am standing up, doing my stuff every fucking day, fighting against every fucking demon inside my head, every disgraceful thought about bullshit I read, about my own failures, about the uncertainties of my own future.

I can't waste time on your paranoias anymore. I can't read your mind and freak out every time I see your name around desiring what's mine by prize, by merit. I can't lose any more peace to keep going because of your shitty talk, that gossip you made up to yourself to hit me under the wrong circumstances, using the wrong substances, for all instances you're the wrong one in this whole situation.

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You not only know all of it but you also wanted it to end like this. You needed so much attention, so many free hands to touch you and make you feel wanted, so many voices to say the words you wanna hear, so many bodies and souls for you to use and devour. You're not even human anymore, you're just what was left from an old tale of an annoying and inconvenient parasite walking around its "preys" to choose where to suck all energies first.

You're coming to a new level of disgusting. You're downgrading to a way lower standard I've never seen before. You betrayed. You lied. You manipulated. You played your game this whole time, and now it's my turn. I have new rules and you don't fit any of them. You're out, and you'll always be out, 'cause that's what you deserve, that's what you finally get after so many failed attempts to see me fall. Not again. Not ever.

Postcard

I promised I'd never talk about you anymore nor write about my feelings for you, even though it's tempting everytime I take myself back at that time, back at that old time I once knew.

I promised not to say your name out loud so I wouldn't remember your hazel eyes staring deeply at me, your straight smile that used to pave the way for my mind to explore your many faces, your firm but soft touch on my skin when you held me, then I knew somehow you were missing me.

I promised to stay away from you, to stay out of your business, to keep you out of my life and move on from this confusing past we lived but... I failed.

Everything happened so fast like the time for drug effects to show up. You were my drug. The one I wanted so bad and coudn't have because it wasn't listed in my prescription. You were the drug I thought I needed to reach the top, to live an adventure, to feel alive for a while, to be different from what I used to be - just a regular kid around the popular ones.

You were popular. I could see all those interested looks at you and your skills, your dramas, your calls to all the attention you could have. You were special, fearless, radical, impulsive, a motherfucking bastard who stuck me into an illusion and poisoned me with a sweet kiss.

But I promised not to close my eyes to picture that moment again. I promised not to say a word and try to be as polite as I can. I promised to keep these emotions to myself 'cause I am a better person than I was before and I won't lose what I have right now for some teenage kind of a dream.

I promised not to sing those 80s songs you vibed so hard but it's hard for me let them go, you have a really fine music taste after all... and that's probably one of the reasons why I was into you in the first place.

Don't blame me, you have you charm continuously surrounding me so far, just because I never forgot about you, just because I wanted a bit more of it all.

Yes, I promised not to fall in love with you. For all circumstances, for the principles of my own life, for your reputation, for that stupid rule book, I couldn't love you, not even a little, not even if I already did.